"By comparing ourselves to others we're negating our own road and demanding that the past be different than what it was. The demands we place on ourselves to be like those we're comparing ourselves may sometimes be motivations for change, however they are more likely to lead to feelings of diminished self-worth (https://albertellis.org/2014/07/the-dangers-of-comparison/)."
Many times women compare themselves with other women. The reason why God does not want us to compare ourselves to others is because we don’t understand the implications and the ramifications of comparison. Comparison will never cause you to take responsibility for who you are and where you are. Comparison has the potential to keep you stuck in a place where you do not desire to be. What most people don’t know is that comparison is a spirit! This spirit does not operate alone but it works with the spirit of pride, the spirit of jealousy and the spirit of deception. So when a woman allows the spirit of comparison to enter in, she has also opened the door to the spirit of pride, the spirit of jealousy and the spirit of deception.
As a child of God we were created in the image and likeness of our Father God. We were only meant to compare and measure ourselves against Him, His word, our identity in Him, and what God has purposed for our life. The promises of God are yes and amen. It’s our Father’s good pleasure to give us the kingdom. We were fearfully and wonderfully made. It is only when we do not know our identity in Christ are vulnerable to the spirit of comparison. Our eyes were meant to only be fixed on the Lord and His will for our lives; never on people. Especially when the hand of God is on your life, the further you go outside of His will, the more vulnerable you become.
The bible says let this mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus. This means to think how Christs thinks. When we mind everything but Christ and His will for our lives, we open ourselves up to the mind of the world and the mind of evil spirits… We start thinking the way they do and it creates mental and emotional instabilities, fear, turmoil, and torment. Instead of losing our mind to gain the mind of Christ, we end up losing our mind to the devil.
We know when the spirit of comparison is operating in our lives when we become jealous of other women. Pride, (arrogance or low self-esteem depending on what side of the bed you wake up on) and jealousy is the intended result of the spirit of comparison. When a woman is “jealous” of another woman, it usually means that the woman that is jealous, has compared herself to another woman, the spirit of pride and the spirit of deception causes her to believe that the other woman is prettier than, more successful than, or more accomplished than her, based on what is seen. In the comparison, the jealous woman begins to feel bad about herself, less about herself, which contradicts everything that God has said about her in His Word. Typically the jealous woman already is not content with herself, with her life and or her accomplishments and these evil spirits take advantage of this.
In order for these spirits to protect themselves, and keep their place in this woman’s life, they cause her to project her feelings on to the other woman. “She’s jealous of me.” “She thinks she’s better than me.” Or “I feel like she’s competing with me.” The goal is to keep her focused or keep her attention outward and not inward. “She’s got the problem, not me.” If you are not willingly to consider that the problem may lie with you, then we know that these spirits are at work.
Now there are a number of questions you will need to ask yourself to determine if these statements are true or to determine if you are projecting your feelings on the other woman.
Some questions you could ask yourself (And really answer the questions, write them down)?
1. What evidence do you have, other than your feelings, to support your idea that she feels or thinks she is better than you or that she looks down on you?
2. If you sense there is jealousy and or competition, ask yourself: Are you jealous of the other woman? Or is the other woman jealous of you?
3. Be honest with yourself. If your answer to #2 is: A. She is jealous of me: Make a list. Identify the reasons she would be jealous of you? She is jealous of me because...If you can't, then you may want to consider that perhaps you may be the one who is jealous. If your answer is, B. I am jealous of her, then make a similar list of why you are jealous of her?
4. After you make your list ask yourself: A. “Does she really have a reason to be jealous of you? Does your list warrant her jealousy? B. Ask yourself, do I admire her, do I respect her, can I learn from her? Some of you may be able to benefit and grow from this experience while some of you will continue to blame other people for where you are. Decide not to be that person.
Please know that your feelings may or may not be warranted. Know that your feelings may simply be your feelings and have nothing to do with someone else. Here's where the spirit of deception comes in. It has the ability to create illusions or delusions in your mind and deceive you into believing that they are reality. They create a stronghold of ideas and beliefs in your mind to fortify their existence in your life. (1 Thess 2: 9-12)
The truth is, how other people feel about themselves or about others is not your problem. Your problem is to know how you feel about yourself and your situation. If you spend more time thinking about someone else, what someone else is doing, or what someone else did, you are minding the wrong business.
Jealousy is the opposite of respect and admiration. Jealousy works against you, where admiration works for you. When you admire someone, you tend to want to be like them, in some form or fashion. Admiration will cause you to desire to be mentored by them. It is very hard to respect others if you don’t respect yourself. If you can’t find someone you respect, this is an indication that perhaps you don’t respect yourself. Jealousy will cut your relationships off, or prevent a relationship from being established that could potentially push you to the place you truly desire to be. Where there is jealousy there is also pride. In fact, pride is a two-sided coin: On the one said, one thinks more highly of themselves than they ought and on the other, they think lowlier of themselves than they ought. Pride is the determination to not agree with God.
If you believe someone is jealous of you, that is an opportunity to speak life into him or her, to encourage him or her and let him or her know who he or she is in Christ. This is an opportunity to build them up. But the accuser of the brethren, which is Satan, will take advantage of the stronghold in your life and use you to accuse others of being something that they are not or doing things that they aren’t really doing.
My prayer is for God to mend all of the broken hearts of those who are reading this. I pray that Jesus will reveal Himself to you, reveal who you are in Him and what His destiny is for your life. I pray that God will forgive you of your sin and that you will forgive others. (Un-forgiveness opens the door to the spirit of the accuser.) I pray that God will deliver you from every stronghold in your mind and soul and that you will realize all that God has for you in Jesus name.